Things I love About My Submission

It's been just over a year now since someone first suggested to me that I might be submissive. Some of her suggestions have sent me on a journey that is both fascinating and life changing, and I thought I would share some of the things I love about finding out that I am submissive.


1. The world stops.

When I am focused on him, on the look in his eyes, the tenor of his voice, the graceful movement of his hands, everything else stops still. There is nothing else. As one of those people who has trouble stilling their mind and freeing it from anxieties, visions of the future and examining everything in every shade and nuance, this is very akin to being in a meditative state.

And believe me, this is a massively welcome relief.

2.I Have Found Me

I am becoming clearer about who I am, almost on a day to day basis. Okay, so I hitting the age where people often have mid-life crises and do mad things anyway, but after 20 years in the same profession I can suddenly see a way out of it. I feel clearer about my relationships with people...friends, family and significant others and have made it clear where I stand with them. This simply wouldn't have been possible for me before and I am convinced there is a link.

3. I am having so much fun!

And believe me, it is fun. From choosing lingerie and clothes that I think he'll like and enjoy, to smarting from the sting of his palm on my backside, to pony-ing for him, it has, for the most part, been pure fun. And fun is not something I have had for quite a while.

4. I have made many friends

I am not very good at keeping secrets. Most of my significant friends know what's going on in my life. Their reaction has ranged from believing this to be a phase, just another one of my whims, although on the more adventurous side, to being convinced that when I meet and fall for the right someone, I won't need "all this kinky stuff".

So, it has been so good to meet people with whom I can talk open and frankly, people who undersgand not only about Ds, but also my own particular situation, which is not unusual in this world so it seems. But whilst we may have been drawn together by an interest in DS, I now have friendships that span writing, films and the workplace.

I am also part of an online and Submissive women's group and have found this hugely rewarding. I rarely post myself, but I have learned so much ...from how to make my own vampire gloves (If I wished!), to how to spot if a DS relationshop is turning abusive.

5. I have discovered Sex

Well, not strictly true, I admit, but in the past I had always felt vaguely unsatisfied by vanilla sex. The orgasms were always too fleeting, disappearing like wafts of smoke as I clutched at them. I always felt as though there was something missing, but I didn't know what. I remember trying to voice this once or twice, but as I wasn't aware of what was absent, I was not able to explain what I needed. I had been aroused by the melodrama of stern and commanding characters from black and white b movies, but no one seemed to understand how deep a nerve they touched. It wasn't until I met someone so naturally dominant (rather then being a Dom), that I even begun to understand what I had been craving.

And finding it has been both the end of one journey, and the start of another.