In Shock

I am feeling a little disturbed at the moment. It's this damn Internet and me being too curious for my own good. I watched a video. Not some porn type video where everyone's moaning loudly and playing a role (of course I'd never do stuff like that;), but what looks like a home movie of a submissive. It's made me feel weird.

I have to say that I wasn't feeling at all horny or "submissive" when I started watching it, but, as soon as I started the film, something clicked. Her posture, the mannerisms, the way she held herself. It's clear that she's way off there in la la la land or subspace or whatever you want to call it. I identified at once and even that was a shock. So that's what it looks like from the outside.

And then her Dom started shouting at her, taunting her even. I didn't like it at all. I started to shake and even cry and couldn't watch the rest of it. I had to close the page and have now deleted it from my browing history as I never want to see it again. It seems to have upset me and I don't know why.

Perhaps it was the fact that she seemed so out of it. From personal experience I know she's probably somewhere else completely in her head and having quite a nice time thank you very much, but it was still disconcerting seeing it, literally, from the Dom's viewpoint.

If curiosity kills the cat then I am feeling slightly wounded.