Saying No

I am actually very good at saying no, usually. I can get myself out of the extended family event that makes my blood turn cold, avoid being drafted to help out with the school trip (a coach full of under 10s would be worse punishment than a flogging!), and I can say no to clients who want to suck the life out of me.

But, thinking back, I don't think I have really said No to Sir yet.

I have said no to him when he was in his non-Sir mode. I found that I really didn't want to hear too much about what he had done in the past. For some reason it made me feel, well, anyway, it made me feel strongly enough to ask him to stop. And he did and all was fine again.

But there comes a moment when I am collared, or have just spent a fair bit of time with him as Sir, and I don't think that I can say no. On one occasion we both realised that, had he asked me, I would have done something I really didn't want to do. He wouldn't have had to lay a finger on me and I would have done it. But I wouldn't have seen him again. He would have broken the trust that I have in him that he wouldn't tell me to do it.

It is interesting.... you have given someone your absolute trust and yet, at the same time, they have to continuously earn it.

At our last meeting Sir made me use my safe Word. To be honest, I find it hard to remember why. All I do remember is him very forcefully telling me to say it and say it now...so I did. Without him I wouldn't have been able to say it. I had to rely on Sir to say no for me.