Me and Mr Nietzsche

“If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

There have been a couple of occasions when I have felt on the edge of a precipice. The first I have mentioned before. It was when Sir tried to get me to use my safe word and I couldn't. When I asked him about it later, he says that he was losing me and had to bring me back.

I had experienced a similar thing once before with Bad Boy, although his reaction was slightly more panicked and resulted with him slapping my face to get me out of it. From that point on, I noticed that he was careful never to let me get near it.

But what is it? I have no idea...but the abyss quote sums it up beautifully. It's certainly much more than the floaty, blissed out state I am usually in when with Sir. It's much more raw, and not a little scary.

I'm curious to go back and see, but I'm not sure Sir's going to let me. Perhaps because he's not sure he can get me back from it, or maybe because he just doesn't want to be stuck "babysitting" while I go off into la la land on my own. Which is perfectly understandable. It is meant to be about the both of us, after all.

I suspect the time isn't right yet and I'll stumble across it sooner or later, but, whatever it is, it calls to me...